Blessed be Your name

"Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

This song has popped into my head a lot lately. That and "Blessed be your name." I can't help but think it's for a reason and this situation we are enduring with my dad. I feel at such an awkward place in my faith right now. I'm trying daily to trust in God, but sometimes it's just so hard to.

Last weekend I went home to spend time with my family. I'm very grateful to have a job with flexible hours to where I can go home for a long weekend. It was a much needed weekend at home.

Dad had his first chemo treatment last Wednesday. His body handled it very well and he hasn't really seen any aftereffects from the chemicals. One funny (or frustrating depending on who's perspective you get) is that because of the steroids they gave him, he now hiccups instead of coughs. The only time I heard him not hiccup was when he chugged a strawberry-banana smoothie my mom and I made him. (complete with copious amounts of ice cream, half-and-half and egg white protein powder to pack on the calories.)

He's lost probably 20 pounds, but it's a little hard to tell because his legs are swollen since his liver isn't functioning properly. It's strange to look at him and see his face not as full, but his legs fuller. I prefer to picture my dad at his peak.

He rode bikes, completed a marathon and ate healthy. Something he is having to forego for the time being. It's hard for him to eat so differently, I think. But I think he secretly missed eating things like Frosted Mini Wheats and drinking Dr. Pepper (which is still too sweet for his preference at the time being.)

I love my dad for so many reasons, but my current, favorite reason is that he doesn't let his faith waiver. Even though his body is going through this, he has not missed one church service. Though that may be the one thing he does that whole day, he still attends. I'm so proud to be his daughter knowing what a man of God he has become.

He found his faith later in his life, but it was right for him. He was baptized only a few months after I was, but his heart yearns to learn more about God and the Bible everyday. I'll admire him for being a seeker and explorer always. (Remind me that I said that when he plays "20 Questions" the next time I go home.)

Please, please, please- I'm begging you; Continue to pray for my dad. This chemo needs to work. We got some unexpected news that if it doesn't, he may not have many months left on this Earth. And while he is here, he will need to continue treatments for the rest of his life.

This was shocking to me, but we're praying for a miracle and we need a miracle.

Summer Loves

Despite the fact that my family is going through a lot right now, I definitely feel God's blessings in my life at the moment.

1. I have a job that I absolutely love. It is pretty flexible about the hours/days I work so I'm able to take some down time and visit home a lot more than I did last summer.
2. The best boyfriend in the world. I bet you think yours is pretty cool, but I've got 'em beat. He is so supportive when I need it, silly when I need it and always loving. Things are great in that department. That's one of the most constant things in my life.
3. Money! I think this might be the first time I've ever felt blessed to have money, but it's happening. I get paid for Spring Sing this week (long time comin, right?) and I've been waiting for this moment since I basically became director. I'm making money at my internship and hope to save it and not go too crazy this summer. I'm dying to buy a really nice Canon camera (like a profesh one), but sadly I'll have to stop myself. It will come someday.
4. Health. Other than being the usual tired college student, my health is pretty good. I've been trying to get outside more (for the exercise and vitamin D) and sleeping more. When I was home I saw my neurologist for a check up and they did some blood work. Everything is doing fine and my kidney function is normal for being on this medicine. No seizures since last August. The doctor said that it's highly likely that if I don't have one in the first year then I won't have one again! Yay!
5. Friends. Man, I've got some fabulous friends. Like in abundance. I'm a lucky girl. I wish some were still in the area, but that's life in the summertime.

Secret: I really wish I was a witty blogger. When I try to be funny, or tell stories, or be charming it usually ends up disastrous. I'm sorry if you've been a victim. Maybe it's something you develop out of life experience, but I sure need some. Maybe I'll post weekly secrets like Post Secret. We'll see how ballsy I feel.

And to close, a peek of my room when I moved in. It's been hard finding time to organize and decorate, but she's coming along. Maybe I'll post more when I get there.

Flash Forward

Since school let out my life has been complete nuts! There's been something different everyday or every week and it's just never ending.

Although, there have been some happy moments. I guess I can't complain about my life that much.

Last weekend I witnessed one of my best friends get married! It was one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to! The reception was totally fun and we all had a great time dancing around with our friends. For once I wasn't that conscious of looking like a total idiot on the dance floor. I guess cause about 85% of those people I will never see again, so there's some incentive.

Precious newlyweds.

After the wedding we headed home from Denton on Sunday. The drive which normally takes about 3 hours ended up taking 6 thanks to the stormpocalypse moving in. We had to take shelter at Stephanie's house in Moore and wait out the storm. Then on the way home we got stuck on the highway for what felt like an eternity.

The reason we were stuck for so long - hail clogged the drain systems.

This week, I also started my new job! I'm a PR intern at the Oklahoma Dental Foundation!!! I love it so far, even though I've only worked 3 days. The people there are really nice, and my boss went shopping with me for desk supplies! So fun!

The last bit of good news; my dad.

As you read in my last blog post, my dad was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. Since I found out I visited him at home and it was so great to see him. He has definitely lost some weight, but is still feeling strong and has gained some of it back already.

While I was in town the doctor's did a liver biopsy (they noticed some spots on a previous scan) and a brain and bone scan to see if any other places on his body had cancer.

I'm happy to report the results of both tests were as good as they could have been! The biopsy said that he did have some cancer spots in his liver, but that it was the same kind as his colon so the chemo should respond better to it. The other news is that he doesn't have cancer any other place in his body!!

Now that his medical team has this information they can start a treatment plan. He begins chemo on Monday, so please continue to lift up my dad in your prayers. They have been working, but we need your continued blessings.

My dad has been remaining strong and while his cough probably won't go away for some time, his spirits are still high and he believes that he can fight this disease.

I love my dad so much and watching KP get married last weekend gave me a reality check; her dad walking her down the aisle, dancing with him at the reception - it all felt like it could be taken away from me. I know I sound selfish, but I can't help but feel that way. He's my dad. I want those moments with him.

I'm planning to go home next weekend for a visit and I hope he's feeling up for company since he chemo is starting. I'll keep you guys updated for sure!

A twist of events

This isn't easy, but I need to talk about this.

My dad has been sick since the end of January with what sounded like an upper respiratory infection. I personally thought it was bronchitis because of how his cough sounded (I know it well since I've had it three times since college). He could hardly hold a normal conversation with people because he was coughing so much. But he went to the doctor and they gave him an antibiotic. Which didn't work...Another one, and it still didn't work. I think they got up to three or four and no response.

By then it was March and no progress had been made. He finally got referred to a pulmonologist and went in for testing. Nothing was found in his lungs and they were functioning normal for his age. They thought he might have acid reflux, so they put him on Prilosec to help with that. While he was at the doctor, they did some blood work and found out he was anemic. His count was around 8 or 9 and is supposed to be at 12. They started him on iron supplements and wanted to see what happened. He started to get really tired cause his iron levels were low and such.

I'm not sure what exactly prompted this, but somehow he went in to the doctor to get a colonoscopy. I think they were just wanting to inspect more since the Prilosec wasn't working and the coughing was still there.

Last Tuesday, my mom, dad and his girlfriend Kay found out that my dad has stage four colon cancer. I found out on Wednesday while my mom was down in Oklahoma moving me to my first apartment. He had to tell me over the phone, but I'm glad she was there.

For those of you who don't really know my family dynamic, my parents divorced when I was about 2. They have remained very close over the years (as far as divorced parents go) and my dad actually contacted my mom for help when going to doctor's appointments. The three of them have attended almost every appointment together and have each other's backs I guess you could say. It's sounds strange to anyone else I'm sure, but it's been my life for a while so I guess I'm used to it.

They are going in with chemo to shrink the cancer before they try to operate. He gets a "site" put in his body near his heart to hook up to the chemo. The chemo should start in a few weeks, and they doctor said he shouldn't lose his hair.

Tuesday he is getting a full body and brain scan done to make sure the cancer isn't anywhere else. They are also taking cells from his liver to make sure it hasn't spread there.

Anyways, the point of this post is to just let my very slim amount of readers know that I need your help. My family is in need of your prayers right now.

My dad has asked specifically for strength while his body endures this. He is changing his diet a lot to help beat the cancer. His doctor's and our family is confident that he will beat the cancer and we aren't letting anyone else tell us any different.

My Aunt Susan was diagnosed with several types of cancer at the same time 20 years ago and was given 7 years to live. She is now 51, healthy and cancer free. We have a lot of hope.

Just please pray when you have the time. Our God can work miracles when we give him all the power.

I caved...

I just drank a kids meal Coke from McDonald's.

Wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be, yet I still want more? Odd feeling to have.

Darn you, Coke!

Wisdom from the wise

"Top 10 bits of advice for graduates"

1. Deadlines matter. Almost as much as quality - not quite but very close.
2. Appearance matters. How a project looks is the first impression of the content that is going to be inside. If it's not your best- don't turn it in
3. Show up. Most of you competition won't at some point.
4. Errors kill. Get yourself a trusted proofreader and be that person for them as well. You can't catch all your mistakes, even with multiple passes.
5. Learn from your mistakes. Keep a file of what you don't know and add to it every tome you make a mistake.
6. Avoid time killers until it's time. Social media can eat up your time and even cost you a job. Limit social media to the time allotted for it and no more.
7. Read a lot.
8. Write a lot.
9. Consume news. Know what's going on in the world, and switch new outlets frequently to make sure you're getting the real thing.
10. Budget time for yourself and your relationships. If you don't budget it in, you'll never find the time.
11. This one is your bonus, but it's SO important I broke the rules:

Enjoy the ride.

Dr. P.

4/22/10

I just love this teacher. Good thing I'm not graduating this week. This reminds me a lot of "Everyone's free to wear sunscreen." Such a great song/advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ

Favorite part:

"Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be the things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday."

Dillard's never fails me

It's been an exciting and sad day all in one.

I had my last real Dr. Patterson class today. I got a little teary towards the end, but I'm okay with that. I just really like his classes and him as a person, so it was weird being in my last one. Although, I will be taking newspaper workshop in the fall, so I w

ill see him again.

I've been doing a crazy amount of shopping lately. I've been looking for a rehearsal dinner dress for KP's wedding, a outfit for Taylor's graduation and just some spring/summer-y clothes in general. I just hate a lot of my clothes right now. Most of them are from high school and obviously I dress differently than I did 4 years ago, so they just aren't cutting it. I might take them to Plato's Closet this summer if I get the time.

But today I found the most amazing dress ever!!! Dillard's never fails me when I need a bomb dress. I found this beauty in the expensive section (the one where the women wear all black and look at you funny for even considering going over there, yep that one).

Cue cheesy mirror MySpace pics:

And here's the best part:

Yes, it was $20. Originally $148. Man, oh man I'm so proud of myself.

And the even better part is I LOST A DRESS SIZE!!!!! YAY!

I don't have a scale so I'm merely going off of how my clothes fit, so I'd consider this a success.

So that was my sad, but exciting day!