Saturday, June 19, 2010

Happy Father's Day

To a dad who...

Taught me:
to explore.
my ordinal directions.
to ask questions.
to dissect words in order to find out their root and eventually its meaning.
to watch the Food Network (which my friends made fun of me for in
middle school).
how to check my tire pressure.
how to travel.
how to fold a fitted sheet.

Helped me:
complete school projects I procrastinated on.
did my Geography homework once in 6th grade, I think.
shop on countless occasions.
never give up.
beat middle-aged men in Buzztime Trivia at a sport's bar.

Let me:
mess up.
take chances.
dictate our vacation spots (Boot Hill in Liberal, KS - really, Dad?).
sleep in his bed after I saw "The Ring".
pour my high school heart and soul out to him in a Taco Bell.


And not to mention attended every play, concert and spring sing performance.

And who still:
teaches me, helps me and lets me be me every day.

I love you, Dad.




Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Gratuitous Amounts of Non-Related Stuff

Remember on Xanga when they had that "currently watching" or "listening to" thing you could do? Well right now I'm watching "Across the Universe." I still have my Xanga account active, in fact.

I read it sometimes and laugh at my high school self. I was interesting back then, we'll just say. Now I'm perfectly well adjusted and awesome.

Right? Right.

Lots has happened since I blogged last. Life does that sometimes.

I have lots of things I've grown addicted to. I'll list them to be fun.

1. Netflix. If you don't have it you need to get it. It's changing my life and it's only been less than a week. I've been able to relive my childhood through their instant movies and television shows. It's been wonderful. I've already watch "Hello, Dolly!", went through seasons 1, 2 and most of 3 of "The Hills," and half of a season of he A&E hit reality show "Airline" (which none of you probably know existed, but I used to watch it with my dad and loved it. It's hilarious).

Side note: Favorite quote from the movie -
Horace Vandergelder: Dolly Levi, you are a damned exasperating woman!
Dolly Levi: Why Horace Vandergelder, that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me.

Love it. I think I might be Dolly Levi. Watch the movie and tell me what you think. Or just watch it for fun.

2. Diet Coke. Yes, I'm drinking pop again (refer to previous posts for an explanation why I gave it up). But they offer FREE (as a poor college student I think I'm obligated to automatically partake in free items) pop at my internship, so I drink it to get my fix for the day. Then I don't have to buy cans, just a 2-liter to get me through a week or so. It's a wonderfully cheap way to get my caffeine buzz.

3. The iTouch app, "Lose it!" It's a calorie counter app designed to help people lose weight and it's FREE (and once again the college student obligation applies). But you can input what you ate, even from restaurants or grocery stores, and it tells you how many calories you ate and how many you have left for the day. There is also a way to add exercise and the app tells you how many calories you will burn if you do it for a certain amount of time. It's just wonderful. Check it out. You won't regret it.

I guess that's my life recently. I'm going home this weekend for Father's Day. I'm pretty psyched.

Dad update:
He had his second chemo treatment last Wednesday. So far, his body seems to be responding. My mom called me last week after taking him to a few appointments and had a few encouraging things to say.
-"Susan, he isn't yellow anymore!" It sounds funny to hear, but for the first few weeks after he was diagnosed his skin had a yellow tint to it. Mostly because his liver wasn't functioning right, but now it seems to be doing better (thus a more natural skin tone is emerging). Coincidentally, I remember my dad's favorite color to be yellow.
-I think some of his energy is coming back, which is such a blessing.
-No vomiting...yet. The doctor said everyone can react to it differently, but my dad hates - and I use the word hate with the fullest of intent- throwing up. It could happen, but it hasn't yet which is great.
-The swelling has gone down in his legs, ankles and feet. For a while we thought he might have to buy new pants, but the lack-of-swelling suggests that his liver is getting better.

I think since seeing the progress, his spirits have been lifted some. I think he knew before that he would beat it, but seeing progress sure helps. He's started losing some hair, which was expected, so my mom took him to get it cut a little shorter today so it wouldn't get pulled off as easily when he was laying down on a pillow or in the shower.

Such a nice mom I have. Not many ex-wives would do that, but she's such a compassionate person that it doesn't really surprise me that she took him under her wing.

I think she has started reading my blog, so "Hi, Mom!"

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Blessed be Your name

"Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm


I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus


This song has popped into my head a lot lately. That and "Blessed be your name." I can't help but think it's for a reason and this situation we are enduring with my dad. I feel at such an awkward place in my faith right now. I'm trying daily to trust in God, but sometimes it's just so hard to.

Last weekend I went home to spend time with my family. I'm very grateful to have a job with flexible hours to where I can go home for a long weekend. It was a much needed weekend at home.

Dad had his first chemo treatment last Wednesday. His body handled it very well and he hasn't really seen any aftereffects from the chemicals. One funny (or frustrating depending on who's perspective you get) is that because of the steroids they gave him, he now hiccups instead of coughs. The only time I heard him not hiccup was when he chugged a strawberry-banana smoothie my mom and I made him. (complete with copious amounts of ice cream, half-and-half and egg white protein powder to pack on the calories.)

He's lost probably 20 pounds, but it's a little hard to tell because his legs are swollen since his liver isn't functioning properly. It's strange to look at him and see his face not as full, but his legs fuller. I prefer to picture my dad at his peak.

He rode bikes, completed a marathon and ate healthy. Something he is having to forego for the time being. It's hard for him to eat so differently, I think. But I think he secretly missed eating things like Frosted Mini Wheats and drinking Dr. Pepper (which is still too sweet for his preference at the time being.)

I love my dad for so many reasons, but my current, favorite reason is that he doesn't let his faith waiver. Even though his body is going through this, he has not missed one church service. Though that may be the one thing he does that whole day, he still attends. I'm so proud to be his daughter knowing what a man of God he has become.

He found his faith later in his life, but it was right for him. He was baptized only a few months after I was, but his heart yearns to learn more about God and the Bible everyday. I'll admire him for being a seeker and explorer always. (Remind me that I said that when he plays "20 Questions" the next time I go home.)

Please, please, please- I'm begging you; Continue to pray for my dad. This chemo needs to work. We got some unexpected news that if it doesn't, he may not have many months left on this Earth. And while he is here, he will need to continue treatments for the rest of his life.

This was shocking to me, but we're praying for a miracle and we need a miracle.