I realize I'm not technically on the prowl, but I've had my own experiences with undateable guys (and actually dated some of them), so this is a list for those dating women out there.
Here are a few I agree with:
1. Bluetooth
This is usually how you meet a Bluetooth wearing guy-
You're in 7-11 filling up a Big Gulp cup and you hear a guy say "hey what's going on tonight?" (or something similar) - you turn around wondering who this strange person is and being the nice girl you are, nod and smile to be polite.
This is where the Bluetooth wearer turns on you.
He has the audacity to give you a weird look like "why are you looking at me- I don't know you," and continue filling his cup with a grape slurpee.
Bluetooth is a no go.
Unless you don't have any arms.
2. Vanity plates
I must confess, I bought one of my high school boyfriends a vanity plate. I was 15, "in love" and it was his 16th birthday party. So I went to a mall kiosk (legit) and got it airbrushed for him. What did it say, you're wondering? Well, I couldn't decide at first. He drove this olddddd, white Ford truck. Like 1960's old. It had seen better days, but he liked fixing it up and I was forced to ride around in that "car". He often referred to it as "The White Dragon."
Yes. This is real life.
After entertaining that idea, I quickly decided against it. I went with something much more classy.
Chris (the undateable boyfriend in this scenario) was a big fan of Superman. And by fan I mean he drew the "S" logo on all his undershirts, but instead of an "S" it was his initials: "CV".
So, I said to myself "why don't I put that on the plate for him! Duh!"
To make a long story longer, I did it and he LOVED it.
Two months later he dumped me.
3. Wearing sports jerseys
Boyfriend is way into sports. That's actually an understatement. He visits my apartment merely to steal ESPN, I'm convinced. I sit by his side and am forced to eat endless amounts of Rotel dip and Tostitos during baseball, golf and hockey seasons, Olympic curling and beginning last weekend: college football. He's an avid OU fan, and he shows his pride by wearing an OU jersey.
He refers to the team as "we" on many occasions. He obviously dedicates a lot to the team.
To tell you the truth this doesn't bother me that much. Just give me the Rotel and my laptop and I'm a happy girl. My boyfriend is certainly not undateable, you silly VH1 show.
4. Excessive Ed Hardy.
No one - and I mean no one - should ever be allowed to own, buy or re-sell Ed Hardy. It's bad for the economy, our planet and is probably the cause of global warming.
Ed Hardy = excessive hair products, therefore an excessive amount of hair spray which is made of aerosol, which hereto, destroys the ozone layer.
The answer is always no when Ed Hardy is involved.
5. Man shakes
Boyfriend works in a pretty manly environment. It's competitive, male dominated and requires a suit (a big ego booster). So naturally, he comes home with quite a few tales from undateable men in his office. One in particular chooses a fist bump - but it doesn't end just there. Fist bump, then brings his hand back and makes an explosion noise.
One time Taylor came home and showed me some handshake where you turned your index and middle finger into two legs and you walk them away from the other person's fingers...or something like that. So weird.
Not necessarily undateable, but definitely embarrassing.
Now I know this blog is read by all girls - let's not mince words - so what undateable qualities do you think I missed?
I know you've got stories.
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